Important reminder…

Single does not mean available. End of story.

I do not welcome miscellaneous texting and/or messaging. I am very busy with my own life and am not looking to add anyone or any responsibilities to my plate.

Just because I do not have a boyfriend, does not mean I am looking for anything. That includes casual encounters.

I have my pick of the litter, and still pass.

I know that I am attractive, interesting, intelligent, kind, caring, and self sufficient. It’s probably why you were attracted to me in the first place. That does not mean I owe anyone, anything.

Please remember that my kindness is never an invitation. 😘🖕

As you were!

Veins!

Varicose veins happen. I have a genetic vascular condition and am especially prone to them. When I was a kid, teen, young adult, I used to hide my bare legs as if it was forbidden to even have veins.

Sheesh! Heaven forbid my long stems need some extra blood flow! (Joke. Varicose veins are from blood pooling, not extra blood pumping.)

Children made fun of me for them, and for me being a “little different,” but kids are jerks. (Oh, come on. You know it.)

Photographers I work with are welcome to edit them out if they don’t add anything to the shots, or if they are distracting. Otherwise, I do not care. They are just a part of me!

I am not self conscious about them; honestly, since bad tattoos became so common nowadays. People choose to put “ugly” marks on themselves, willingly, all the time! My marks look like leg snakes and I grew them, myself.

🐍 *sssss*

Observations of a dis content old model.

Irony below, to get your attention: Here’s my butt! Got your attention, didn’t I ?! am I doing it right? 😘

Photo by Jamie Edgar early 2025.

In the span of 2 years; I have had some good, decent, and some mediocre-at-best photoshoots.

After being out of posing for most photographers and sharing my modeling online for nearly 12 years (aside from very sporadically), I’m realizing just how much the response to modeling has changed in the world.

Due to social media? Perhaps. Due to popular internet pimps monopolizing on models without them fully realizing? Who’s to say. Bit of both is my guess. The oversaturation is alarming.

What I have noticed is that it seems like the general public feels like they are entitled to access to models now. As in, people are ruthless with crossing the line and interacting with models, as if we are all sex workers or looking to shoot “content.”

For the record, I have no problem with sex work/workers. I think it is important to not blur the line between someone who is selling their image versus someone who is selling physical engagements.

Due to the rise in use and normalization of models creating subscription communities on certain websites, for $3.99/month, models seem to have been devalued rather than empowered, in my opinion.

I have loved nude modeling since I was of age. I think it is important to celebrate the human body and to express ourselves through stages of life. Nudity is beautiful in the right company.

Upon coming back to modeling after a significant amount of creative celibacy – I am quite disappointed with how downhill things seem to have really gone for the freelance model world. Overall, it has left a disgusting feeling of “yuck” in my stomach.

The modeling industry has long been known for accommodating some unusual characters. As if that’s not enough, these days, models also face the ticking time bomb that is AI. With the internet being as plentiful as it is, anyone can find anything they are looking for, in abundance. If they can’t, they can AI generate it.

So, what are models competing against these days? The tick of the clock, the competition of computers, the sheer volume of other people always ready to flash … anything … for what equates to very little…

Some of the absolute best models in town are genuinely earning less than $150/month and bending over backward to meet the constant demand of the algorithm. But all for what? What are these models achieving, if anything at all? Attention? Surely that isn’t sustainable.

Sustainability is dreadfully important as a creative, and I feel as though these subscription services expedited the race-to-the-botton.

I have so many thoughts and so much to continue on about this, and genuinely hope you understand this is meant to be more of an expose of what the actual fuck have we all gotten used to? I am not putting down any of the creators who did choose to go this route, by any means.

It has always been competitive, but can we have some realization that by setting subscription services to coins-per-month, it has effectively brought down the value of every model in this industry?

I come from a far different era of modeling where you weren’t booked for something, unless there was an end goal for the images. A catalog, a cover, a website add, print, etc. Not just social media smut pages that are circle-jerking each other…

Models – I love you all and I LOVE the smut. I think you all deserve more than your current rates. Whatever they are.

Own your worth! 💪

I have edited and edited and edited this entry. There is so much more to say, but I’ll leave you with just this to think about.

What do you think? Is it really worth it for the social media “likes”?

What is next for these models?

I apologize for the slow growth of this…

I truly do.

Every part of me wants to put more into this website. To free parts of me I have been restricting for too long. To show off things I have done over the years that I am proud of. To move forward.

There is something in me that is still holding back. I feel frozen when I sit at my computer to organize photos. My cell phone is an overwhelming treasure trove with too much, and is far too distracting to work on.

I’m surrounded with art and tail ends of projects. New beginnings I quickly abandoned while needing to relocate or adapt. All sorts of remnants of lives I have lived while trying to make frayed ends meet, that send me into a mental shutdown.

It is bittersweet. Being reminded of all sorts of things I have done, and being proud that I managed, while also remembering everything I bottled up to do so. Maybe bittersweet isn’t even the right word. It is intoxicating. In the, “…holy shit I can’t even remember what happened”, kind of way.

The mind does strange things when it is blocking unpleasant times. The body takes the toll. I can’t even believe I am still here.

My days are slow. My thoughts are slowed. My movement is slowed. Doing anything, is slow.

Fuck.

That’s all.

I’m happy, for the record (thank you, antidepressants and happy life memories) but sometimes (always) I have to be extra honest.

So again…

Fuck.

I’m doing okay, but that doesn’t mean every day isn’t hard. 🙃

Here’s another cute photo to make you smile, now.

Both photos on this blog were shot by David Alexander in February 2024. It was the morning of my mum’s birthday and we shot all day before I headed out for dinner with family. Such a great day.

As one does…

I’m always adapting. Call me flaky – sure, whatever.

I do the best I can with my constantly changing playing field. What would you do?

Thinking sustainability, I decided quite  quickly to ditch the idea of a partitioned NSFW side of my site. I don’t shoot porn. I love porn and intimacy and erotica, sure, but my website isn’t that.

I am not interested in chasing the race to the bottom with subscriptions and upkeep and sections for smitty interests.

I’m human, an artist, with varied interests, and I’ve changed my mind yet again on proceeding with this.

Gatekeeping is a weird concept. Art is meant to be shown off. Smut is so… occult. I decided having even a separate, password access part goes against what I truly believe. It made me feel icky passing out login information to my “behind the scenes” as if that’s a different part of me, at all. It’s all me.

Art and intimacy should be shared. The consenting nude body is not offensive. I’m not doing anything “wrong” or worth hiding. I simply want to maintain ownership of my own artwork and share the glimpses along the way, which is why the website started at all. I want to keep it relaxed.

So, again, I am dialing back. To simpler times. Think of my entire website as a personal “2010 Tumblr era” style blog. A bit of this, a bit of that, with some spice along the way.

Any purchases off my Throne page are donations to keep me smiling.

There are NO expectations and NO transactional relations around here.

If you treat me to something nice, I’ll of course thank you from the bottom of my heart.

…as it should be.

I’m here to create and connect, love and inspire. Let’s keep up the momentum.

Check back sporadically, for big smiles.